It is time for a ‘Glow Up’
Belly floof. Pudgy arms. Thunder thighs. Every area of your body does not look the way you want it to. You keep showing up daily, but you are disheartened. There isn’t 100% to give anymore; you feel like just being there has to count for something. Sleep wins sometimes; more often than you would like. You are mentally and emotionally (and let’s face it — physically) exhausted. The scale creeps up, a few pounds at a time. Bending over to tie your shoes gets more and more uncomfortable.
When this happens to me, my brain goes right to those awful thoughts. Thoughts about my worth, or whether I deserve to be happy and healthy, or how I must be doing everything wrong. I don’t stop to think about whether there is an underlying issue; I go straight to “you are a failure.”
That is my mental state right now. As much as I’ve tried to work on it, I’m still living in the hurt, scared, inferior place my mind creates for me. I’ve seen the ads on social media for all the tricks and gimmicks and schemes, and believe me, I’ve been sorely tempted to throw money at a gimmicky solution for a quick fix, even though I know there isn’t one.
Think of the truth
Before simply continuing on this downward spiral, I’ve decided to stop and consider what is true:
- I’ve undergone considerable change and emotional upheaval in the past 12 months
- My blood work shows my thyroid could be a little out of whack
- My hormones, while “normal,” are on the low end of the range, which may be causing issues
- I have not weighed, measured, and tracked every morsel of food, so there is the possibility I’ve underestimated my calories
Thyroid and hormone results alone could account for much of my weight gain this year. I have not checked cortisol levels, but with everything going on, I have no doubt those are abnormal. I head back to the doc soon, to hopefully get some answers and solutions for those potential issues.
Other people who go through significant life changes tend to have some period of time called a “glow up.” Can I sign up for that part of the process now, please? I think I’m ready. I’m ready for both a mental AND physical glow up.
Where I’m starting from
Most days, I still feel like I’m in the chrysalis. In many ways, things in my life have not settled. To add insult to injury, my beloved dog passed away earlier this year, so I lost my lovable little furry buddy. Seems like for every step I’ve moved forward, I go another few steps back.
Not to mention I’m still not over everything that happened last year. I’m still dealing with the stress and fallout. I think I tried too hard to create normalcy, and that meant I didn’t deal with the hard emotions; I just stuffed them. I’m learning that no matter how hard we try to stuff them, they will surface eventually.
Also, what even IS a glow up? According to Merriam-Webster, it is “a striking transformation in a person’s appearance; a makeover, a coming-of-age”.
Somehow, for me, I think it will be more than just a physical transformation. It will need to also be an emergence into a more confident, uplifting, joyful human being. A mental and physical glow up.
The Glow Up List
Lists are fun and informative, no? In case you were curious, here is a list of 10 things I commit to doing regularly in order to facilitate my own glow up, in order of physical health, then mental health, then emotional/spiritual health. Also these are in no particular order, and I reserve the right to add or delete items as necessary for said health.
- Track my food intake daily.
- Work out 5 days per week.
- Stretching & mobility work 3 times per week (more as needed).
- Decide who I want to become — set goals in order to become her.
- Continue therapy.
- Branch out and find new support groups in addition to the ones I currently have.
- Journal 10 minutes per day.
- Practice reframing my dumpster fire thoughts into more positive and affirming ones.
- Learn to spend time in silence and meditative prayer.
- Take a break from social media at least one day per week.
While this seems a little daunting, I have confidence I can make this happen most days. Watch out world, when this glow up happens no one will know what hit them. 🤪
