-
Walking through the graveyard
Grief comes in many forms. As I have mentioned before, my current state is “dumpster fire.” The ending of an era, the ending of relationships, the ending of life as I knew it before is all weighing on me. One of my homework assignments in therapy is to walk through the metaphorical graveyard of all I’ve lost in the past year, or will lose due to all the changes occurring. To name every single thing, every idea of what was or could be, every good…
-
Outside Looking In
There is a phenomenon in human nature where we look at how another person is handling their life, and make judgements and assumptions about what they should or could be doing instead. We assume someone is stuck, or lazy, and have thoughts like “If I were in their shoes, I would be doing…” Well, the trouble is, you are NOT in their shoes. And your judgment, however well-intentioned, is just that. It is judgment. It is not helpful. I’ve done more than my fair share…
-
Twist the knife
In my life, there are a lot of hard and heavy things happening. I have been working on myself, on my emotions, on my mental and physical health, and I am not seeing the progress I want to see thus far. It just means I have a ways to go. Which is fine. Acknowledging I’m really not fine is probably the best first step. I’m grieving. Grief takes many forms for many reasons; it is not always a result of death. But it is a…
-
It is time for a ‘Glow Up’
Belly floof. Pudgy arms. Thunder thighs. Every area of your body does not look the way you want it to. You keep showing up daily, but you are disheartened. There isn’t 100% to give anymore; you feel like just being there has to count for something. Sleep wins sometimes; more often than you would like. You are mentally and emotionally (and let’s face it — physically) exhausted. The scale creeps up, a few pounds at a time. Bending over to tie your shoes gets more…
-
Rewiring: Overcoming Emotional Quicksand
Someone used to tell me all the time, “perception is reality”. I used to bristle at this phrase, as mostly it was used to explain their reactions to my perceived inadequacy. In the past year, I’ve come to realize that there is a spark of truth to this phrase, and what we perceive and what we experience and what we think certainly does become our reality in many ways. It is funny how we won’t always know what could trigger an extremely emotional response in…
-
That’s Where ‘The Magic’ Happens
Early mornings…that’s where the magic happens. Heavy lifts … that’s where the magic happens. The extra mile…that’s where the magic happens. Consistency…that’s where the magic happens. Growth…that’s where the magic happens. Or, having a friend who will drop everything to help you out. Who makes sure your car smells like Christmas and you are properly caffeinated at all times. Who has notes about everyone’s bloodwork and compares Pub Med research to the doctor’s recommendations. Who pays for copays for friends so he can be sure…
-
Building the new
“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” Socrates Too often during seasons of change, I focus on the negative (shocker). I focus on what I hate about the new situation, how much I dislike the work involved getting to the new situation, all of the stress I feel, etc. This thought process understandably makes me dread change. I’ve experienced a lot of change in my life to this point. I’ve moved…
-
Standing Beside the Fire
Earlier this month, I was told something profound…that I wouldn’t have thought of on my own. ‘When you step out of the flames, you will find burns. That is the only way to heal. You can’t heal when you are in the midst of the fire.’ Since I’m no longer in the fire, so to speak, I get to begin the healing process. I’m not far away enough from the fire to start seeing the burns. I am still aflame…maybe glowing embers instead of actively…
-
Going on a “Hero’s Journey”
When you randomly hear about something more than once during a week, maybe it is something you should pay close attention to. For me, last week, that topic was the “hero’s journey”. Not only was Mel Robbins talking about it on her podcast, but Edie Wadsworth has an entire message about this journey as well. I heard both of these in the past week. 🤯 At first, I thought of Homer’s Odyssey. But I’m no Odysseus…I mean, if I feel like giving up now, barely…
-
For the PLOT!
When my kids started using this phrase, I had no idea what it meant. I laughed politely, if suspiciously, when they called me a ‘boomer’ and ran to Google to figure out what I was missing. Y’all. Our kids are SMART. From Urban Dictionary: ‘Do It For The Plot’: the conscious decision to see yourself as the main character of the story that is your life. You maintain the outlook that every moment – good or bad – is merely a plot point for your…
