When this happens to me, my brain goes right to those awful thoughts. Thoughts about my worth, or whether I deserve to be happy and healthy, or how I must be doing everything wrong. I don’t stop to think about whether there is an underlying issue; I go straight to “you are a failure.”

That is my mental state right now. As much as I’ve tried to work on it, I’m still living in the hurt, scared, inferior place my mind creates for me. I’ve seen the ads on social media for all the tricks and gimmicks and schemes, and believe me, I’ve been sorely tempted to throw money at a gimmicky solution for a quick fix, even though I know there isn’t one.

Think of the truth

Before simply continuing on this downward spiral, I’ve decided to stop and consider what is true:

• I’ve undergone considerable change and emotional upheaval in the past 12 months
• My blood work shows my thyroid could be a little out of whack
• My hormones, while “normal,” are on the low end of the range, which may be causing issues
• I have not weighed, measured, and tracked every morsel of food, so there is the possibility I’ve underestimated my calories

Thyroid and hormone results alone could account for much of my weight gain this year. I have not checked cortisol levels, but with everything going on, I have no doubt those are abnormal. I head back to the doc soon, to hopefully get some answers and solutions for those potential issues.

Other people who go through significant life changes tend to have some period of time called a “glow up.” Can I sign up for that part of the process now, please? I think I’m ready. I’m ready for both a mental AND physical glow up.

Where I’m starting from

Most days, I still feel like I’m in the chrysalis. In many ways, things in my life have not settled. To add insult to injury, my beloved dog passed away earlier this year, so I lost my lovable little furry buddy. Seems like for every step I’ve moved forward, I go another few steps back.

Not to mention I’m still not over everything that happened last year. I’m still dealing with the stress and fallout. I think I tried too hard to create normalcy, and that meant I didn’t deal with the hard emotions; I just stuffed them. I’m learning that no matter how hard we try to stuff them, they will surface eventually.

Also, what even IS a glow up? According to Merriam-Webster, it is “a striking transformation in a person’s appearance; a makeover, a coming-of-age”.

Somehow, for me, I think it will be more than just a physical transformation. It will need to also be an emergence into a more confident, uplifting, joyful human being. A mental and physical glow up.

The Glow Up List

Lists are fun and informative, no? In case you were curious, here is a list of 10 things I commit to doing regularly in order to facilitate my own glow up, in order of physical health, then mental health, then emotional/spiritual health. Also these are in no particular order, and I reserve the right to add or delete items as necessary for said health.

1. Track my food intake daily.
2. Work out 5 days per week.
3. Stretching & mobility work 3 times per week (more as needed).
4. Decide who I want to become — set goals in order to become her.
5. Continue therapy.
6. Branch out and find new support groups in addition to the ones I currently have.
7. Journal 10 minutes per day.
8. Practice reframing my dumpster fire thoughts into more positive and affirming ones.
9. Learn to spend time in silence and meditative prayer.
10. Take a break from social media at least one day per week.

While this seems a little daunting, I have confidence I can make this happen most days. Watch out world, when this glow up happens no one will know what hit them.

The post It is time for a ‘Glow Up’ first appeared on Sore Not Sorry.

I’m not far away enough from the fire to start seeing the burns. I am still aflame…maybe glowing embers instead of actively on fire. I know I have damage, but I haven’t assessed it yet. Did I stop, drop, and roll?

Unfortunately not.

Can you stop, drop, and roll when it is an all-encompassing fire? My guess is at some point, that age-old wisdom would not be enough.

One step back

It is difficult, as someone who loves to follow a plan, to not have a blueprint for how to heal. Taking things a step at a time, but not knowing the steps, is a little strange. (Okay, a lot strange)

Also, it does not help that for every one step I back away from the flames, I find something else out that brings me right back to the brink of the disaster area. The heat is on and I want to keep backing away, but I’m compelled to keep standing where I am. I have to experience the heat. No matter how much damage it causes.

Assess the damage

I’m going to be honest, I don’t know exactly how to do this. My entire life has been a series of events I needed to “stay strong” for…whatever that means. I’ve felt a lot like an island, keeping myself and my family moored on dry land while the ocean raged around us. Maybe instead of fire…I’ve experienced the lava flow of a volcanic eruption, and instead of destroying what was, it is expanding and creating more land. More space. More freedom.

Shine

What is to give light must endure burning.

Viktor Frankl

I can’t wait for this part of the process. Emerging shiny and new and happy…and me. It will take me time to get there, time I don’t want to spend in the trenches, but there isn’t any way to this destination except through the pain and hurt and burn. Here’s to enduring what we need to so we can become what is meant for us.

The post Standing Beside the Fire first appeared on Sore Not Sorry.

Except then you start ruminating on all the different ways people determine the “right” way to eat. How often and what type of exercise? How much sleep? And what exactly is a minimum amount of stress? You get deeper into the world of fitness and you just end up with more questions than you started with. And strangely enough, the miracle cure for one person may not work for you. And what works for you may not work for someone else.

We are all, apparently, unique. There’s a shocker.

via GIPHY

Keep it Simple…and Consistent

So, now what? A lot of trial and error? (Probably) I wish I could tell you there was some magical trick or supplement or expert to follow to the letter for sensational results. Heck, I wish I could tell myself that!

The only thing I can tell you is to keep going, even when it feels hard. Even when it feels like nothing is working. Even when you go off plan a little bit, or a lot.

It’s easy to get frustrated and quit. I challenge you to take the more difficult and more rewarding path of picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and persevering. You may not see the changes you want to see immediately. You may not see them a month down the road, but I promise you, a year from now you will be very glad you stayed consistent. Please don’t think this means you have to be perfect, because I truly don’t think it is possible. All I mean is: don’t give up on yourself. Don’t fall back into old patterns that you were frustrated with because they didn’t give you the results you wanted! There is a reason you decided to make a change — remember that reason and keep going toward what will bring the changes you want!

Keep it Simple to start

If you haven’t read Atomic Habits, you really should. We always assume, when we are trying to reach a big goal, that we have to change everything all at once. (I’m very very guilty of this too! ) NEWS FLASH: you don’t. Take it slow. Pick something small and start with that. If you are already drinking enough water, add in a step goal every day. Once you get those habits in place, pick something else. Choose an eating plan and start. Counting macros? Start with calories and protein…worry about fat and carbs later. Find ways to make the changes sustainable and doable for your daily life.

Stay simple, my friends

There are new advances in technology and science every single day. Eggs are good, then they’re bad, then it doesn’t matter because inflation + avian flu = taking out a loan to buy them! Should we eat meat, plants, or plant based meat? Red meat, white meat, seafood only? Do you know where all your food comes from? Processed or “clean”? Does clean mean not processed, or minimally processed?

Cardio? Weights? Both? How much of both? Neither? (Just kidding, neither isn’t really an option.)

So. Many. Questions. So many conflicting opinions.

From me to you

My advice? Make a decision and stick to it. Do whatever diet or eating plan you want, just stick to it. Find whatever workout program you want, just stick to it. (The only caveat is, make sure you are using proper form…we definitely want injury-free training sessions! If that means asking a friend who has experience, or paying a professional…do it! Money well spent if it keeps you injury free.)

The consistency (there’s that word again) will do more for you than the actual program. You can be successful on any program! Wait until you have been consistent with one program for a while before deciding to switch. My recommendation for a good place to start would be counting macros. To me, that has been the easiest. Start with tracking what you currently eat and gauge your current intake. Then there are all kinds of calculations based on activity level, age, weight, BMR…the list goes on. Just pick one and try it out.

I can recommend workouts to you as well. You probably do not want this. If you haven’t worked out in 5 billion years…just start by walking. Start small. Keep. It. Simple. Keep it consistent.

You will be so glad you did!

The post Keep it simple, even though it’s complicated first appeared on Sore Not Sorry.

Don’t be ‘that’ person

Have a little patience. By the second week of January, most people give up on their resolutions. So if you are truly annoyed by the crowds, just wait…they’ll dissipate. Being rude to others never solved anything. Being the reason someone quits going to the gym just makes you a jerk. Everyone deserves to find their own pathway to health and wellness, and just because you started earlier than others, doesn’t make you any better. In fact, you should view it as an opportunity to be welcoming and helpful. Show off those gains and that knowledge! Be the reason people LOVE going to the gym, instead of the reason they dread it.

One guy at the gym I started going to last fall pretended to jump onto the sled I was pushing. This guy is a muscular person and would have made that sled push way harder! He was (thankfully) joking and didn’t really sit on the sled. When he walked out that day, he said “I expect to see you tomorrow!” with loads of enthusiasm and a huge smile. He is now someone I look forward to saying hello to when we happen to be at the gym at the same time!

Know when to share your knowledge …

And when to keep your mouth shut. Is the person risking injury to themselves or others? THAT is when you speak up. Is the person using equipment in an unconventional manner, but not in a way that would injure anyone? Then it is none of your business. Let it be!

There is someone at the gym that constantly appears to judge me. Has spoken up with inane questions like “you are really going to use this machine for THAT exercise?” Well, yes, that was the plan. What is it to you??? Why does it matter? Needless to say, I do NOT say hello to this person when we happen to be working out at the same time, and they do not make my gym experience more enjoyable.

Find times that are less crowded

Adjust your schedule some if the crowds bother you! Head up a little earlier…go a little later…find the ‘off’ times and work with it. It’s probably only for a few weeks. Alternatively, you could view this as less of a drain on your healthcare expense if everyone gets their behind in gear and takes charge of their own wellness…and that is a great thing! That small adjustment in mindset might make the crowds a little easier to handle.

Go with a buddy

They can save your spot at the equipment so you don’t yell at unsuspecting people who start using it not knowing you just took a restroom break. At the very least, communicate with others around you if you aren’t done with your set but need to leave the equipment unattended. People aren’t mind readers, you know.

Buddies are also helpful to have…they make the time pass more enjoyably, they critique form, they show you random reels and TikToks of weird things you “should try”…which makes everyone’s gym experience better because then everyone can laugh at your expense when you try it.

Ultimately, just be a nice human

We’re all on a journey to health. Be kind and welcoming and realize that the gym being more crowded doesn’t make that much of a difference in your day. Have options for yourself should equipment be in use. Find a new time to go (waking up 30 minutes earlier won’t kill you!). Most of all, a mindset shift will help you. Realize how awesome it is that more people are showing up for their health. It makes society better as a whole! Embrace this new normal, however long it lasts.

The post How to survive the first of the year at the gym first appeared on Sore Not Sorry.

I’ve signed up for obstacle course races even though I am unable to do a pull up (YET–see…still working on that mental game). I work with a nutritionist, focus on macros and eating more protein, challenge myself to complete programs like 75 Hard, lift heavier weights than I ever thought I could, bore my kids with anecdotes from podcasts I listen to or books I read regarding health and fitness (I get lots of eyerolls ). Basically I spend a lot of energy focusing on how to better myself.

Why is that crazy?

So when I tell people about my schedule and my activities, I get a range of responses, beginning with the blank stare and ending with “that’s crazy, I would never do that.” My question is…why? Fitting in a workout where I can, which just so happens to be early, is bonkers? Wouldn’t it be crazier not to fit in a workout at all, and go through life sluggish and unhappy?

Signing up for races and training for them. Nuts? Or motivational? Setting a goal and reaching it…proving to yourself that you, in fact, CAN do hard things. Why is that considered crazy?

Participating in programs like 75 Hard, that challenge you mentally and physically. Insane? Or…training yourself to be disciplined in your health journey? The rules, while challenging, are not necessarily crazy. Why do we think giving up alcohol, following a diet, exercising outside, taking progress pictures, drinking a gallon of water, and reading 10 pages a day of a book — for 75 days — is crazy?

Redefining the word

What does it say about us as a society when we categorize healthy behavior in this way? Here’s a radical idea — being sedentary, feasting on the Standard American Diet (there’s a reason the acronym is SAD), bingeing streaming services, not drinking nearly enough water, and drinking too much alcohol…that is what is insane. And the vast majority of us repeat these patterns day in and day out and wonder why our mental health is suffering, we feel lethargic and crappy, our hormones are out of whack, and that extra weight hangs on for dear life.

Here’s your wake up call to use the proper definition of ‘crazy’ in this instance: passionate. Excited. Fanatical. In that sense, absolutely YES. I am crazy. I am passionate about bettering myself. Excited to see what I can accomplish. Fanatical about learning what my limits are and exceeding them. I’m not letting society’s definition of what is normal dictate how I live my life.

Why would you?

The post One Sandwich Short of a Picnic first appeared on Sore Not Sorry.